Overcoming Loss and Restoration: Dami’s Story

2 years ago, I had a strong urge to share the stories of other christians and how they have overcome various challenges in their lives. I felt like many people feel alone in one way or the other. I needed to show that you are not alone. This birth ‘My Jesus Experience’ which is a series of conversations I had with people whose stories I want to share. This is the trailer below

The very first episode is with Dami Emmanuel. He is a friend of mine who I have been blessed to know. In 2015, Dami got married, in 2016, Dami lost his wife and their unborn child. Today, Dami is married with a beautiful baby boy.

Dami’s story is amazing. It shows how God can restore us completely despite the pain we experience. I pray that as you watch this episode, that you are hungry to build an authentic personal relationship with the Holy Spirit and if you were losing your faith, I hope this nudges you to stay in faith and seek God afresh. And if you have never known Jesus Christ before, I pray this gets you interested.

As you watch,share your thoughts and comments, please share with those who you know will need this LIGHT and encouragement and please subscribe so you know when new episodes are out. Full Episode is below:

Kikelomo’s Powerful Testimony

Lord,  I don’t understand but I trust You!!!

In August 2015, I was diagnosed with cancer cells in my womb and I was told I had polycystic ovaries. I also had to see an Endocrinologist because I was lactating. The level of Prolactin in my body was high and it was telling my brain that I’m breastfeeding so my period stopped coming. I was told I had to do surgery to remove the cancer cells to prevent more issues. I did the surgery in September and when I went for a follow-up in November, the doctor said I healed well but I’ll need a lot of medication for 3-4 years to be able to conceive and even with that, I had only a 50 per cent chance.

I laughed! I laughed because I had decided that I am the only one who gets to speak life or death to my body and because I believe what I say, it always comes to pass. So laughing was my therapy because I refused to believe the Doctor’s report.

On Feb 4th, 2016 I went for @lffsortingout and I got healed completely. I had stopped lactating and It happened in the blink of an eye. Throughout the 3 days period of Sorting out, we were praying and I kept speaking life into My body, My Husband, My children, My Gifts, etc. At some point, the Pastor said anyone that has a physical issue should go and check in the bathrooms to find out if they had been healed. I went to the bathroom to check if milk was still coming out of my breasts and I saw that there was still milk coming out, so I went back into the hall slightly disappointed but still filled with hope.

As I sat in the hall, I remember listening to other people’s testimonies regarding their healing and that increased my faith, I believed and told God that I want to come back here and give the testimony of my healing. I ran back to the toilet and to my amazement, IT HAD DRIED COMPLETELY. In addition to my healing, I also received the gift of speaking in tongues, which has been amazing for my prayer life because I absolutely love confusing the devil. Through Sorting Out, I was freed from a million strongholds and fears and I could announce that I AM Sorted. Yayyy!!!

April 2016 we found out we were pregnant, which was a miracle considering what doctors had told me about my chances. I was extremely thankful and filled with praises because I knew this was all by God’s power. I was very excited and was looking forward to having our baby as being a Mother has been a dream since forever.

In July we went for an event in Lagos, it was great to celebrate with our friends but in the midst of that, I started feeling pain but it wasn’t extreme so I just chilled and tried not to worry about it. On our way back to Abuja, I was in a lot of pain throughout the flight and went to the hospital as soon as we landed in Abuja. At this point, I was bleeding and the doctor said I had to lay down and wait for them to carry out tests and know what the situation was. After 5 hours of the most the difficult wait, he came with the worst news we were hoping against. He told us we were going to lose the baby as I was in labor and the baby was too young to survive if born.

I was really hurt and heartbroken so I did what I knew was my only option, which was to turn to God. I asked God for help, I asked him to heal me physically and emotionally because I didn’t want to go through pain. All I remember was sleeping off and when I woke up, I had a strong urge to pee. As I peed in the bathroom,, I saw my son come out of me and I called my husband who was in the room and he then called the doctor. All this time my son was still connected to me and I was asked not to look down as we had to wait for the placenta to come out.. The only thing I remember was “Yaweh” playing in the background as we had been playing worship music during the entire time I was waiting. After the placenta and my baby came out, the doctor wrapped them up and told my husband to go and bury the baby which was surreal. It was not supposed to happen this way. We had a moment of tears, but in even that moment, we chose to remain thankful and have a heart of worship.

On July 10th, 2016, Our Son went to heaven. This was 5 days to our wedding ceremony, but instead of tears we had smiles on our faces. This can only be to the Glory of God because the smile on our faces at the event were so priceless and effortless, that no one could ever believe or imagine we had just had the painful experience of losing our little one.

On November 11th, 2016 we conceived again and this time we said we’ll be more careful and just take it easy. I went to the hospital and the doctor advised to get a cervical cerclage to prevent any complications or early labour like the previous experience. For someone who is always active and energetic, I took it easy as I stayed on bed rest because nothing was going to get in the way of me birthing a healthy baby..

On May 8th, 2017 I woke up in a lot of pain, my joints felt like they were on fire and it was excruciating. We rushed to the hospital, praying and hoping that nothing would happen to our baby. The Doctor checked me and gave the bad news: He could see the membrane, which was NOT a good sign. It was advised that we had to do surgery to put the cerclage back but we had to switch hospitals because most hospitals didn’t have enough incubators. By the time we got to the final hospital, I went into the theater and all I remember was seeing Jesus holding my hand and telling me that all will be well and greater things are coming. I was confused, I told him the truth: “Lord, I don’t understand but I completely trust you”. By the time the surgery was over my hubby and I went back to our room and I was just laying down,completely numb. How could this be happening to us again? I did everything right this time, so I was back here again?.

10 mins later I felt a sharp pain and I knew the baby was going to come out, in 5 mins I pushed her out and she kicked my thigh. I spoke to her telling her she would be fine and all will be well and I told her it was lovely meeting her. She went to the NICU and 2 hours later, they gave us the news we were dreading: Our Daughter went to heaven.

This time was very different from the first time. This time around, I felt PEACE like no other, it was calmer than the first loss but something in me got very upset. I felt the devil was trying to test me especially because of how much I boast of God’s Grace and mercy and how it has carried me. I know the devil was jealous because God never stops playing favorites with my husband and I. I learnt that when God touches your heart, He holds you and carries you, no matter the situation, loss, sickness, blessing, death…etc His word is true when he says: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Fastforward to August 2017, we conceived again. Yayyyy!!! AND this time the pregnancy was here to stay. I was determined to FIGHT for what was mine. This baby belonged to my husband and I and nothing was going to stop us from celebrating.. I was told I had to to be on bed rest for 7 months but at this point, I would have stayed in bed rest for a year if that is what it took. I barely left my room except on the days when I had to go and get my injections. I had to take progesterone injections to prevent a repeat of the previous losses. So, betweem the 25th of September to the 20th of December 2018, I took injections twice a week and then once a week from then till the 27th of April 2019. This was a total of 37 injections, this experience completely humbled me; I was in pain for 3 days after every shot and couldn’t lay down on the side of my bum that was injected. I could only have a proper bath once a week because I wasn’t allowed to stand for a long period of time.

Despite these discomforts, the period of bed rest introduced me to a side of myself I had never met. I saw a side of Kikelomo that I had never really met before. Gosh, she’s gorgeous and I love her so much. She is strong, she is love, she is the apple of God’s (husband’s) eyes, she is kind, she is Bold, She is the Church, She is Peace. I learnt that Who you are is a manifestation of what you have experienced, people you have touched and how you have lived.

On May 1st, 2018 T’araoluwa Idunnu Abebi Rivka Tabitha Ajala was born. It was her birth in itself is what I see as a supernatural birth because I have learnt that having a healthy child is in itself a miracle and supernatural . It’s so amazing because I Chose To Smile and trust God regardless of what I been through. Philippians 4:4 says “ Rejoice in the Lord, Always. Again I say, Rejoice!!” and I chose to do just that.

I am sharing this testimony of God’s Goodness, Because He saw me, loved me, called me spectacular and Picked me. Now I am Filled with Love, He Picked a lump of clay and gave me breath, isn’t that something?!

And more importantly I want to tell whoever reads this; to believe in the power of Love. LOVE is real and it’s only through the love of Christ, shall we have Life in abundance and See the Glory of Our God.
I speak Life in all areas of your life. To everyone reading this, God is GOING to MAKE the impossible, POSSIBLE.

Let’s all have an attitude of Expectation and trust in God, always…especially when you don’t understand

Correction is NOT Condemnation

I have noticed that my son Joshua never seems worried about telling me when he does things he knows I won’t be too pleased about. As soon as he breaks a toy, he comes to me and says “Mummy, I broke the toy” or when he pees on his bed (He is 2 and we are mostly done with potty training, YAYYY), he is quick to say “I peed on the bed”. There is no shame, no real fear, no guilt. He just tells me as it is and he doesn’t hide from me in fear at all.

It is almost like he subconsciously knows that the person who can get him another toy or clean up after him is me (or his Dad). At first my reaction used to be mostly angry and disappointed because I may have warned him over and over again not to do the exact thing he is telling me he did. However with time, my reaction is often one that is focused on correction and not condemnation.

Of course there will be consequences like no new toys for some time or even naughty corner if its really bad but I never want him to feel too afraid or too ashamed to tell me about his mistakes the same way I am excited to hear about his achievements (like counting 1 to 30. lol). The more I think about it, the more I am filled with gratitude that my son knows he can trust me with his mistakes and he can trust me not to hurt him for them. As a result, I am learning to be more deliberate about the way I respond to him and I encourage him to know he can be as open and free with me as possible. I want my son to know he can respect me and I don’t want our relationship to be dominated by fear.

I once watched my sister correct her daughter for being naughty, it made her daughter cry but right after that, my sister gave her a warm hug. The message was quite clear, “I still love you, even when I have to put you in the naughty corner”

How much more loving is God’s heart towards us? The Father who loved us so much that he sent his son to die for us and set us free from our sins even before we even thought about committing them? “But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”(Romans 5:8). The truth is that the devil wants us to think God is always angry and ready to punish us and always quick to accuse us. I once heard someone scolding my son for peeing on himself and threatening to spank him if he did it again and that immediately upset me because there was so much fear in the way she spoke and my son was visibly shaken. Even I as his mother never scolded him for making a mistake in that way. Sometimes we allow the devil to use his spirit of condemnation to distract us from God’s love and his desire to correct us.

The absolute truth of the matter is this: “nothing can ever separate us from the love of God and there is no condemnation’ (Romans 8:31-39), even when we believe we don’t deserve it. God has completed that matter with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Don’t let anything you have done hold you back from experiencing that unfailing love. The bible says “perfect loves casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18) and it is true. If we truly understand and accept God’s deep love for us, we won’t allow our mistakes and errors to hold us back from being in his presence. If anything, the goal is to run to him and tell him exactly how you messed up just like Joshua does with me so that he can help you fix it, the way I do with my son.
I know you think what you did was REALLY REALLY REALLY bad and you don’t see how God can possibly forgive you but just give God a try. Take a few minutes and open your heart to God completely and ask him to not only forgive but fill your heart with his love to the point where you can truly believe it.

Let me know how it goes because I know I would have a few testimonies.

THE HEALING CRADLE

God has been so good to me. He has used all my hurt and pain for something good and his word that “all things work out for my good” have been so true. My loss and sharing my testimony is the reason why you all started following this blog.  I also realise that I can do more or rather God can do more through me.  I know many people have been dealing with the loss of a child, miscarriages, still births etc and that pain can feel extremely lonely. The truth is that you are not alone and we are here to support you. I would like to invite you to “The Healing Cradle” which is a gathering of people sharing the same pain and a place where we can come together to SPEAK, SHARE and HEAL. Please register by clicking the image. Location details will be sent upon registration. Please share with someone that is need of this. 

Date: 31st of March 2019

Time: 1pm

Location: Lekki (full details to be sent upon registration)

 

 

A Messy Affair

 

I recently started  potty training Joshua, my two year old toddler and it has been quite a messy affair with poop and pee in various parts of the house. It was also very messy when he started learning to feed himself and it was painful to listen to him cry for what seemed like hours when we decided to sleep train him. Through these experiences I have learned that every stage of growth requires a level of discomfort and ‘messiness’ and a LOT OF GRACE!

I have been doing a 21 days of grace for the pace devotional by Jeff and Beth Jones Ministry and I came across two phrases I had never heard before but summarised perfectly my current experiences; the ‘Grace Test’ and the ‘Grace Change’.

A ‘grace change’ is that rewarding, yet awkward and challenging season of change. It’s transition time between what God has you doing now-your current life schedule and rhythms’ and where God is taking you next- and your new life schedule and rhythms. Sometimes a grace change is minor and at other times, it’s a monumental shift!

A ‘grace test’ is that important, yet difficult maturing process of death. It is an opportunity to be humble, to die to my ambitions, my desires and myself. When we humble ourselves and pass this test, we tap into new rhythms of grace from the Lord and he empowers us in fresh ways.

Growth often means leaving your comfort zone, moving from your safe place and what you know to new territories and experiences and let us be honest it is not always fun just as I am learning through my son.  I am sure Joshua would still prefer to have it easy with his diapers instead of now having to go to the restroom or potty. Of course eventually it will get easier and he’ll probably prefer the restroom but the transition stage can be extremely difficult. When you have to move beyond what you know and you are comfortable with, to completely new territories that you have not explored before.

In my personal life, I am learning this, as I push past my comfort zone to accomplish some of the things God has placed in my heart to do. I literally found myself dealing with serious anxiety every time I thought about certain things I had to do that involved leaving my comfort zone. Things I know are necessary but extremely uncomfortable because I had to leave my safe place. It reminds me of this verse: “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2 NIV).

Growth requires pruning. This might mean getting rid of some harmful and unnecessary characteristics as well unlearning habits and behavioural patterns you have carried with you for years. It can also involve learning new things that you didn’t know before which can be extremely humbling.  Joshua for example had gotten comfortable with his diaper and he has to start all over again with underwear and pottys. He has to learn new things and new ways of doing things.

In my case, one of the things God has been teaching me is to be less interested in gaining the approval of the world and be more focused on him. The thought of “what will people say” has controlled me for a long time and has held me back a lot. There was a project I started working on in early 2017 but my fears and insecurities stopped me from making much progress. God has been pushing me and every time I overcome one fear or habit, there is a new experience waiting. I have to learn to think differently, I have to be more disciplined and consistent, I have to push through my personal discomfort in order to be more and be the person God has called me to be.

Initially I thought it was unfair, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be more while being comfortable but I am sure Joshua too wonders why he can’t continue to poo in his diapers as he grows up. Why does he need to start using toilets and potties? The answer is this: God did not design us to be stagnant; he designed us to grow in wherever he has placed us and to actualize our full potential. Growth is constant, it won’t stop, we will keep having to grow in one way or the other and we better get used to the program and all it entails.

The major thing I have learnt is this; once I overcome the process, once the pruning is done, I definitely begin to see amazing results and in hindsight I am always thankful for the process. I realize that God has always provided me with amazing grace every time I have to move and grow and he has never actually left me by myself even when I didn’t feel his presence.

Some of us are currently in a season of growth, moving from our current level to our next level and it is uncomfortable. We don’t like it, it is painful, challenging and extremely difficult. But if there is something I know, we will definitely come out better than we were before. We will learn new lessons and ideally grow in our faith. The most important thing to remember in this instance is to ” be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…..for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  We have his sufficient grace to see us through and his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). Hold on, don’t lose faith, there is much more joy on the other side of this.

Are you currently going through a ‘grace test’ or ‘grace change’, tell me about it in the comment section. I would love to hear about it and we can encourage each other.

 

image: https://www.kandookids.com/blog/potty-training-stubborn-kids/

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